Last month, on February 21st my family lost our glue, my mom. She lived such a huge life, such a giving life.
She was diagnosed with Alzheimers about 9 years ago, it's such a cruel disease, slowly it robbed her of her
abilities, slowly it took her away from us, slowly it changed everything. Never did my dad let her out of his
sight, he took care of her 100%, day in and day out. I really believe that because of the way he handled her, the
way he kept her active, kept her being around people, going out, taking her to sporting events, out to eat, on
vacations {she loved Hawaii} it was because of those things, and my dad keeping things as "normal" for her as possible
that she lived so long with her disease, she looked so healthy and happy right to the end. I love the way that they
loved eachother. I still can't believe that my mom is gone, I will forever remember her just going and going, doing
things for other people, she is one of the most gracious and giving women I know of. She touched so many peoples lives
working in the ministry, if people only knew the extent she would go through to make sure someone felt cared for
and taken care of. My sweet mom...rest peacefully and give my sweet Alyssa hugs for me, give my sweet sister Krista
hugs for me. Thank you for being my mom, for being you.
I'm slowly going to be getting back into the swing of things here on the blog and booking sessions.
The past year I would say has been so grey. In a year and a half I lost my daughter, my sister, and my mom.
I'm hanging on, I'm learning new things, I have learned that I was must stronger than I ever thought I was.
Slowly I feel as though the holes that have been punched in my heart are beginning to mend, I say that and in
the next second, I feel like it's not true, like Im right back to the beginning of mourning. Bad days come and
when they do, the reak favoc. Yesterday was one of those days for Brenna, she cried and cried, she cried out
to have her sister back, to see her lips again, her fingers, the way the hair lays on the back of her neck, the
way she looked when she was laying down, the way she would sing to the heavens while she was in the shower,
SO
loud, Brenna would tell her to be quiet and to not sing so loud, and now she begs to have Alyssa's voice ringing
out throughout our house, if she could just talk to her one more time. It makes my heart so sad to have to see my
kids go through this, to have lost their sister.
I flew to Iowa last on February 22nd with Brenna to say goodbye to my mom, my sisters were there and two of my nieces,
All of my moms family was there, her siblings, oh goodness was it ever awesome seeing all of them, being around my
cousins, and their babies, hanging out at my Aunt Bevs house, looking at pictures of my mom, talking about her,
listening to stories about her, I am so very thankful that I got to go be a part of all of that, going to Iowa I
think changed some things inside of me, it was a bittersweet journey I would say.
to be continued.
